I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize