Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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