I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
