I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i love accidental penises.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
