yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
and you said cock pushups were impossible
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
