But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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