she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
ttyl tear gas
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
