Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
