TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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