try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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