I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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