This is not my ceiling
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
