Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
