saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize