I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You can't just leave with hair like that
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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