Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
