If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I cannot find my penis.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
now i know why i became what i already was.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize