he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
