i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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