Please, let me fuck your mom
hell yes lets make some ravioli
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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