you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
