11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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