He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Randomize
