I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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