doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
