If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
