Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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