i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
