my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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