But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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