i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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