Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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