Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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