I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
