Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
