You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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