So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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