I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Naked Twister starts at high noon
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
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