Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
