Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
