the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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