she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
