Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize