are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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