Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
