Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
