just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
