community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
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