there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize