he puts the penis in happiness.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
