Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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