White coat. Heels.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
