Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
