using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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