So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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