thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
