It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
