can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
