escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
