I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
