so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
