i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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