I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize