Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize