We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
