YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
