question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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