so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
