so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
