its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
