We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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