Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
