Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
