you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize