this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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